sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
