yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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