i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
