Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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