i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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