I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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