he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize