Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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