I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
