the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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