A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
