Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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