I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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