The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i believe in u and ur pee
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
