i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
