you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
