I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
