5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
