he puts the penis in happiness.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
