I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
