I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
