so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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