is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize