my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
