dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
