i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
