I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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