Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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