and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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