sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
