I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
