We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
