I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize