somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm at about main and main street
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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