I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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