my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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