omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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