I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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