I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
