i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Can you bring me the toilet please
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
