Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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