JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
