She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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