It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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