Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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