oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
