You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize