We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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