New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize