white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
