Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
