dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
