drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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