If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
