Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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