new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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