Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
