but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
