Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
