Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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