have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
