WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
