so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
