went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
