So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We need to rekindle our bromance
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
