I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
