her vagine was all disorganized.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
