just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize
