Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
